As far as Love is concerned, I will be happy to present my own views. Though it is a difficult job. Remember, these views are the products of my experiments, contemplations and experiences. Similar case is with all other aspects of life and my interpretations on them. I do not force anyone to follow them as I believe that everyone has been blessed with an intellect good enough to analyze and reflect on the varied aspects of life.
Knowledge at its end is the same, is One. Just that it reveals itself in many shades. No one can give others this knowledge. What is derived out of books is just the superficial adaptation from others. Only when a person experiences this Light of knowledge then only he/she can really speak out its essence.
Love is a very beautiful thing; nay it’s the most beautiful thing. Unfortunately, its beauty is beyond description. Even the state of being in love is indescribable. It is probably one of the only things that makes our ego melt away. For me love is the divine power of attraction in creation that harmonizes, unites, and binds together. When I think of love nothing more seems important. Many times I have wondered about the “value” of Love and to my amazement the more I am in the state of Love the more it becomes priceless.
Love is just one word. I cannot think of anything beyond it to state in a statement. There is no punctuation needed after love as for me adding a full stop to Love would mean its end which I don’t believe in and adding a comma would mean there is something more than that which again is not a possibility. So excuse me for Love cannot even be captured in these “Grammatical Rules”.
Therefore for me Love is an end-in-itself. If it is end-in-itself then there is obviously no “attachment” to it. This for me is unconditional reality of Love. Love is the reality and Unconditionality is its Nature. Like the Sun is the reality and giving light is its nature, Tree is the reality giving shade is its nature. So also for me Love and it’s Unconditionality cannot really be separated.
The origin of Love is the Heart. This heart is full of Love. But then along with the heart we humans have also being given the faculty of Mind. The mind has desires and wants. Mind also has concepts and ideas that manifest as possessiveness and jealousy apart from other notions. Many times Love in the heart is conceptualized by the ideas of the mind. Other times love also comes under the influence of wants like “possessing” the one that we love, wanting Love all for “myself only”. This in no way taints Love, but what is abused is the act of giving. The real Love always resides in the heart; we just don’t bother to look beyond the mind. Even if we do, the influence of mind is so strong that it clouds our vision of Love.
This in no way means the “togetherness” aspect of love is bad. In fact the togetherness is what makes Love very Human (I say this because I consider Love as Divine). The togetherness of lovers is Divinity in all its glory. The hugs, the kisses, the touches manifest love in a material form, then it flows like a river in spate. But remember the river in spate can be destructive if the flow is not checked. Togetherness is beautiful but on the contrary if it turns into “possessiveness” it is ugly. Reminds me of a beautiful quote by Richard Bach which says
” If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were”
There is a state beyond this state of longing for the beloved, which is the state of Perennial immersion in the Beloved’s love. This state is what needs to be sought. Imagine your self being immersed in this state independent of your Beloved being with you in flesh or not, this is eternal bliss. This is the basis of spiritual paths like Bhakti -Yoga, Tantra and Sufism.
We have to train ourselves to Love beyond the normal limits of mind. Forgiveness is the best tool to aid us in this. Many of us say that we cannot practice unconditionality of Love, but I disagree because if the nature of Love is unconditionality itself how is it possible to separate the nature from its subject?
What we don’t manage is to get beyond the restrictions of our mind.
Effort is needed to remind ourselves every time to forgive and forget those who have harmed us and give love no matter what.
My Burning Heart
My heart is burning with love
All can see this flame
My heart is pulsing with passion
like waves on an ocean
My friends have become strangers
and I’m surrounded by enemies
But I’m free as the wind
no longer hurt by those who reproach me
I’m at home wherever I am
And in the room of lovers
I can see with closed eyes
the beauty that dances
Behind the veils
intoxicated with love
I too dance the rhythm
of this moving world
I have lost my senses
in my world of lovers
– by Jalluddin Rumi
Getting over the conditionings that we have been brought up with about Love is very difficult. It is very hard to discover the unconditionality of Love. Therefore when in Love, “Just Give” is my suggestion. It is a constant battle with the strong forces of possessiveness of the mind but faith in Love is what will sail us through.
My discovery of unconditional Love was a beautiful journey of exploration. Though the journey had its own trials and tribulations, every moment of basking in Love at the end is a consolation. There were times when I used to be haunted by possessiveness, jealousy and all sorts of mental afflictions, but then some where along due to purification, contemplations and by divine intervention I realized that Love itself is the finality. Further exploration revealed that if it IS THE finality how could there be anything beyond love? Therefore there is no expectation, “my”-ness, suffering in longing etc as Love is only to be given, if its reciprocated, that is fine, if not that is fine as well.
But then how do we explain the difference between Love that we feel for a son as compared to love that we feel for a husband? I would say there is no basic difference in these two manifestations of Love as such. Love is love. But there are other forces which decorate that love, For example – your “motherly” love towards your son is very specific towards the son. The Love towards the husband is aided by qualities like companionship etc.
Love is in that matter like a chunk of Gold, it can be molded into a necklace, earring or a pendent. What shape the gold is melted in doesn’t change or distort its being Gold or its nature of shinning. Even though the Golden necklace, earring or pendent is studded with precious stones still the nature of Gold remains the same.
I leave you with the verses of Rumi, you are free to draw your own conclusions
The Meaning of Love
Both light and shadow
are the dance of Love.
Love has no cause;
it is the astrolabe of God’s secrets.
Lover and Loving are inseparable